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Anger is a natural human emotion. Even the Dali Llama gets angry. But, being fit to be tied is like having a mouthful of bumble bees. When you stuff it, you're the one who gets stung. Plus, whoever is in your path better get out of the way because throwing punches in a swarm of rage is a buzz kill.
The following is a guided imagery practice designed to keep anger from spoiling your honeypot of serenity. Do it in a safe place whenever your anger has turned you sour; for yourself and for those around you.
Lie on your back in a comfortable position away from sharp objects like a razor blade or a handful of darts. Reflect on who or what made you madder than a wasp on fire. Imagine everything associated with your hissy fit compressing into a tightly wound ball, much like the inside of a golf ball under its shiny white surface.
Now, imagine you have a slingshot. Create a vivid image, with its rubber band and wood handle, just like the one you had as a kid that your big brother stole from you but you got it back because you kicked the bejesus out of him.
Next, imagine you are grabbing the ball that contains all of your anger. Put that ball in the slingshot and then pull back on the rubber band. Don't drop the ball!
Begin to tense your body. Squeeze your arms, legs, core, and face muscles. Take a deep breath and hold it. With every ounce of energy you have, let go of the ball, let out a roaring exhale, spread your arms and legs out as far as you can, and watch that ball launch into outer space.
Moral of this meditation: Don't get stung by anger. Instead, grab it by the balls and give it up to the Universe. Conclude your practice with the following mantra, “Not my problem anymore.”
